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Echo of my Mind: We rarely discern others accurately...

Most of the time our conclusion of other people is based on our limited knowledge and personal experiences. We gave up on them so soon because we can't see ahead and we can't decipher with certainty the direction situation is heading for them.. And in most cases we don't figure out accurately the our roles on other people's potential greatness and stagnation. Our roles in transformation of situation at hand is more often  predicated on our individual vision and perception. We want them to listen to us and walk with us using our experience and vision. We see their failures and success from the prism of our past (or present) failures and successes. If they are much younger or weaker, we wear the toga of moral invincibility and perfection and demand maximum compliance.

More often than not,  a determined mind will, no matter the obstacle or the time, get to its destination. Our criticisms and words of discouragement would have been better channeled if we had a foreknowledge of the journey ahead for them.

Appearance can be deceitful. What is on the surface could be really a facades blocking what is beneath the sight.  Many times people of lowly backgrounds have become people of influence when no one gave them a chance. Many of highly esteem background have turned out to be massive disappointment and made us look stupid. It is unwise to generalize, it is best to accord everyone similar opportunity regardless of their appearance and social goof.

Mr. A saw a disheveled middle aged man at a dumpsite scavenging for food. He took a cursory look at him and concluded that he must have lived a miserable life, he deserved it. A man with no history and no different from beggars right. He told himself.. This is what happen when you refused to listen to your parents and live right. He told himself, with air of self-righteousness, . Oh, his children may have been one hell of reckless and poorly raised ones to allow their father to wander and live in dumpsite. Another man, Mr B saw this same old man, and was moved. He saw something that he could not understand and by intuition decided to call an NGO he knows if they can take care of this man. 

The Second day, Mr A passed by that same location and behold the caliber of people around this man. He could not understand and hence decided to ask. He was told the man is a famous person who have been missing for many years. He had mental illness and had strayed with no one knowing where he is until that day. Mr. A was surprised. His judgement had been wrong; this is a man he had heard so much of while he was growing up, and a closer look at him confirmed what he has heard. Unrecognizable. And he has passed such a degrading judgement on him and his children. Here they are, emotional, and happy to reunite. To take good care of their father. This is a real life story.

So keep this in mind and treat everyone with grace, tolerance and kindness...Give them the benefit of doubt. They will unfold their own image to you.

I saw a certain boy in my old neighborhood some years ago. His English was irritating, his confidence was disgustingly low. He had disheveled physical appearance, he was shy and could not even look me in face. It was so easy to dismiss him. But I could not do that. I have been in his shoes before. So I listened to him and consider his request. he wanted a mentor, he wanted unfettered access to me I saw, instead of his physical appearance and bad manner and poor English, a very determined young man and brilliant individual. I told myself, this is a goldfish that has been hiding in the dark. I encouraged him and made sure we see every now and then. Sometimes, I joined in tutorial and sometimes, I just watched him do things while I guide.

Many years later, that young man had overtaken me in academic accomplishments. He had commenced his journey in academic world after emerging as the best graduating student in his department. He has learned so much and still remain so humble. Looking back, I can say I was not surprised that he climbed the stair up. I am only surprised that he continue to walk humbly and in fact, anyone seeing him for the first time would think he is sluggish and perhaps useless. Such was his level of humility and candor. I am so proud of my roles in lifting his spirit and encouraging him to go for his vision. We rarely discern others so accurately when we look at the external appearance to arrive at decision about them.

A lot of time, we have been conned by appearance and the sweet talk to conclude that the person in front of us is a perfect model of trust, dignity and humanity. But experiences and subsequent events after the reality of knowledge of who they are, betrayed our hasty judgement. 

It is January First- it is just another day, but the first on Calendar year.; May God give you the wisdom to see in others what is really in them. May your knowledge and personal experiences never obstruct your ability to learn new things from unfamiliar and indiscernible characters.  Wouldn't you rather open your eyes now? You could be in possession of power to bring out the best from others.You could be in a position to avert doom and disgrace from an inconceivable sector. And you could be on hand to learn new things and become even better than you are. We rarely discern others accurately when our personal opinions and conclusion arrive before unveiling of the new reality. Everyday is an opportunity to learn and everyone is capable of adding to our stock of knowledge. If it comes good, grow with it; if it comes ugly, learn from it and become better.
If it comes good, grow with it; if it comes ugly, learn from it and become better.
Here is the opportunity of a lifetime. .. when next you see someone who totally goes against the norm, either in expectation or strange behavior,  but appear to know what he is really up to. Pause and treat him as you would treat a newly born baby. Always remember, Often times, the individual whose countenance appear sluggish and indiscernible today, could be the one we turn to for guide tomorrow. So keep this in mind and treat everyone with grace, tolerance and kindness...Give them the benefit of doubt. They will unfold their own image to you.

I am Isqil Najim (@isqilnajim)

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