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What Scarcity? There is no Men’s Scarcity!

   ...If you think happiness is a rare bird you won't see much of it.--Marty Rubin

It is common to hear ladies say they there are scarcity of men and use this as excuse many times. There is no scarcity of real men whatever the definition it is given! In fact they are in abundance. They are called real men for a purpose. They are not real men because they have male biological features. Real Men don't drag themselves in the mud just so they can be attached to a woman.. Many of them may be single but very content to live in decent way without announcing their situation. They quietly go about tackling issues affecting them.

Some women assume that single guys must be flirtatious, romantic and “shoot the shoot” when he sees a woman. This is no so. Not every single guy do this.

It is not like they are not bold and courageous; Far from it. In fact they can be strong-willed and determined.. But they are patience and know their limitations.

Once a woman start reeling out long list of what she wants, a real man will take note and know if he can afford it or not. Many woman expect the man to try his luck and concluded that if he doesn't  perhaps he is not man enough.

What they do not know is that there are other women. . They also do not accommodate the possibility that he may also have his own standards. So if he doesn't show interest it is not because he is scarce but he wants to dodge a bullet. He wants to avoid confrontation between his personal principle and that of other person, especially when he found out the other person is uncompromisingly rigid. 

There are just too much list of what one (male and female) wants today and not everyone can have all the combinations. A handsome man to you can be ugly to another woman and vice versa. Religious man to you may be unacceptable to another.  

You can't know true character of a man just because he says has good character. A faithful man is not detected by looking at his baby face. .In fact some chronic cheats are handsome and speak nicely. What of caring? A man staying with you all the time or offering gifts does not reveal enough how caring he is. A lot of time these are just show. Have you see a poor man care so much for his babe that the babe even leave all her wealth just to be with him and he was faithful and she never regret? If he is poor how then was he able to show that he care?  The monetization of caring and affection nowadays  limit the possibility of meeting real men.

While some can't afford and are truly poor, there are those who can afford but detest people who use material as basis for rating them. The general tag these days is that it is money women want and there are no real women again!  They think women marry or date them because of money.. And many threat those women like material acquisition.

Next is age. Older men who are single are not always desperate now. They have seen life from experience and has learned. They have learnt to find ways to maximize their time and fulfill their mission.. It seems it is young ones who are rushing in and out of relationships that are complaining. Experience and wisdom will give them a leeway when time comes.

Genotypes. A big issue.. A very big and silent. . Couples can have all the features and even be perfectly suited for each other and still not make it.. Unfortunately genotype  does not show on face. 

Career.. a lot of guys are busy with their career. Especially  if they are not yet there. Since women have placed more premium  on money it is not odd to hear some men say things like "I will first make my money and when I have had it I can get any woman in the world." Most times they are right because the men with money no matter their ugliness and bad manner don't have issue picking their choice.

There are real men out there.. they are also not scarce.. they just are self-respecting and not announcing their presence. Others just don't want to offend your sensibility. They want to treat women with dignity without losing their own values. Some women felt offended when a strange man ask for their hand of friendship. The first line of defense is to assume he comes for a negative. Some men are aware of this, and have since learned to bid their time. And if she slip away, they know a better one will come.

All said and done. It is good to reflect on the reality of our world: the earth is filled with 2/3 water.. and many still lament scarcity of drinking water. It is same with real men/women. They are all out there, and not scarce. Finding courage and luck to meet one is what makes all the differences. Like water, some are fresh, some are salty. You are not meant to be for everyone. Take your time, and see if the two can work. 


“Don't accept the fear that scarcity exists in any corner of your life. There is enough love, enough time, enough healing to go around. Give what you wish to receive.” 

― Jewel
I am @isqilnajim

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